Pee Dee the Pirate salutes the Obama campaign from East Carolina University!


Greetings Mateys... from my little slice of heaven, called Greenville, North Carolina! I often tell people that Greenville isn't the end of the world but you can see it from here... and guess what? Barack Obama payed us a visit today!!! He filled Williams Arena at Minges coliseum, promptly hoisting the no quarter flag and pledging to force John McCain to walk the plank in November! It was pretty cool to have the Obama logo, at lease for a day, changed to purple and gold!

It has always been extraordinary to me the language that people often resort to under stress. I really had to do a double take when Hillary, a very admirable democratic politician, to my disappointment fell back on the term "misspoke" after being caught red-handed in what appears to be some major embellishment that is threatening to "dry rot" the carefully crafted foundation of the "commander-in-chief threshold" put forth by her campaign.  I happen to agree with Keith Olbermann who said last night, in effect, that she and her campaign had missed the narrow window of opportunity of simply addressing the incident with a "whoops, you got me!" humorous moment.

A visibly shaken Arizona Senator John McCain set to disembark helicopter that was nearly shot down over Baghdad Green Zone


Baghdad, Iraq (APE)- "Boy, to quote Chairman Mao, it's always darkest before everything fades to black," exclaimed a shaken Republican Presidential candidate, Arizona Senator John McCain. McCain's helicopter was nearly shot down as it rose from the Green Zone in Iraq for a fact finding flight over the streets of Baghdad. Also aboard were other members of his presidential campaign staff, senators Lindsay Graham, R-SC, and Joe Lieberman I-CT.

Horton becomes the latest icon elephant mascot to abandon the GOP


Hollywood, CA (O! Online) - Appearing at a joint press conference with Hollywood CG megastar Donkey, of Shrek fame, iconic elephant Horton today announced that he would be abandoning the Republican Party and has joined Donkey in supporting the Democratic Party, and Illinois Senator Barak Obama. Horton is using the recent release of his latest CG film, Horton Hears a Who as a platform to educate the public as to what has been described as a long history of betrayal of elephants in American society at the hands of the GOP since the animal was first tapped as a party mascot by cartoonist Thomas Nast in 1874. Horton Hears a Who debuted yesterday to gushing praise from critics and moviegoers, promising to be the top grossing film for the coming weekend.

President Bush yesterday declared AZ Senator John McCain his heir apparent and a "Made Man"


Washington, DC (Rotters) - White House reporters yesterday were subjected to an impromptu jig by the president as Arizona Senator John McCain was roughly 15 minutes late for his own formal endorsement ceremony. No explanations for the Senator's tardiness were forthcoming, but a McCain campaign spokesperson vehemently denied rumors that the hold up was over White House Security' s reported discovery of a covert recording device found on the Senator. "That's just silly, and frankly a dangerous allegation to make", stated the spokesperson.

I will preface my remarks by saying, clearly and unequivocably, I will vote for and enthusiastically support whoever winds up with the Democratic nomination in November.

As a relatively unbiased observer of this fascinating race thus far, I would like to pose the above question.

For the last two days there has been a real outrage over the internets about a questionable video in which a young Marine is shown delightfully throwing a small puppy off of a cliff, and presumably to its death. There is an ongoing debate as to whether or not the video was real or faked.  In either case, it's really in bad taste, and makes a mockery of people's natural good feelings toward small animals. I won't link to the video here but if your curiosity has the better of you, simply Google or YouTube "Marine throws puppy"...

The Pill Cam Tornado Chaser braces for deployment during an Oklahoma Super Cell


Midland, Texas (APE) - Scientists across the ever widening "Tornado Alley" are resorting to newer, more high-tech interventions in their quest to understand and control super storms which have recently been shown to be largely centered around the lowly bacteria. Responsible for some of the most powerful and destructive tornadoes, blizzards, and now possibly hurricanes, researchers are sounding the alarm that many of these storms' bacteria are showing increasing levels of drug-resistant. The drug resistance is so severe, according to some researchers, that the ultimate strategy for antibiotic seeding of clouds to control and regulate the power of these storms may prove unrealistic.

President Bush and Homeland Security Director Michael Chertoff speak in regards to emerging Las Vegas ricin incident.


Washington, DC (Rotters) - President Bush, appearing with Homeland security Director Michael Chertoff early this morning at a White House press conference, officially elevated the national terror alert system to the color code Orange, representing a high probability for terrorist activities. The elevation came in response to the presumed discovery of the highly toxic chemical ricin at a Las Vegas motel late yesterday.

Willie Cunningham offering his services to Hillary Clinton prior to a campaign appearance in Cleveland


Cleveland,OH (UPSI) - After a dustup yesterday with Senator John McCain's campaign, conservative Cincinnati radio talk show host Willie Cunningham reported for duty as promised to the Hillary Clinton campaign. He offered to serve as a warm-up for a scheduled Clinton campaign appearance in downtown Cleveland today, and stated that he would offer his formal endorsement on stage with her. The Clinton campaign reportedly turned down his offer at the last minute, stating that they rejected his endorsement.

02/15/08 Putin Claims Russia has Shot Down Wayward US Spy Satellite



Russian President Vladimir Putin displays a photo of downed spy satellite fuel tank


Moscow, Russia (Rotters) - Russian President Vladimir Putin today announced that he had authorized the successful shoot down of a wayward US Army spy satellite. The mission was accomplished with a Russian ASAT missile which was launched by a MiG31. He stated that physicists had calculated the strike so that any remaining debris would merely rain down on the vast uninhabited portions of Russia, minimizing the risk to humans. As proof, Putin offered a picture of one of the destroyed satellite's controversial fuel tanks that had made it through reentry virtually intact.

Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia (Audio posted at BBC and NPR)

"It seems to me you have to say, as unlikely as that is, it would be absurd to say you couldn't, I don't know, stick something under the fingernail, smack him in the face. It would be absurd to say you couldn't do that,"

40th President Ronald Reagan considering run to become 44th


Bel-Air, CA (Rotters) - Ronald Wilson Reagan, the 40th president of the United States today announced from his home mausoleum in Bel-Air California that he would be forming an exploratory committee to investigate the possibility of his late entry into the 2008 Republican presidential race. The committee will be headed up by right-wing pundits Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter and is widely viewed as a rebellion from the extremist conservative wing of the party over their dissatisfaction of current front runner Arizona Senator John McCain.

Bill Bilichick addresses reporters in Phoenix, AZ- Insets: US Spy Satellite and satellite view of Giants Stadium in New Jersey


Phoenix, AZ (Faux Sports) - Hours before the kickoff for Super Bowl LXII, New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick has come forward, admitting to using spy satellite technology to scout today's opponents, the New York Giants. Belichick cited a guilty conscience and the fact that the story was about to be broken from a number of sources as his reasons for coming forward. Belichick offered a vague apology for his role in the matter and demanded that he be given immunity in any subsequent investigation.

Anita Sparin, 25, passed out in front of television at O'Malley's Pub in Miami, FL


Washington, DC (UPSI) - The federal government's Center for Disease Control this morning reported that President Bush's final State of the Union address last night had been indirectly linked to 21 deaths nationwide from alcohol poisoning, and cautioned that the number may grow throughout the day. The CDC's report came as a result of querying available nationwide databases linking together the nation's Hospital emergency rooms. The victims appeared to have been voluntarily participating in a traditional "State of the Union drinking game" in which they had selected beforehand key words and phrases for which they would have to consume a quantity of alcohol.

Larger images are available here


Dick Cheney and George Bush star as two disgraced and declining Republican conservatives who decide to break out of the White House and live their last days to the fullest in director Karl Rove’s  tragicomic road movie.  Dick Cheney is a corporate billionaire who is currently sharing the White House with a failed, bicycle riding, frat brat George Bush.  Though initially, the pair seems to have nothing in common as they approach the end of eight years of political humiliation, they both realize that they have a long list of powers that they would still like to abuse before being driven out of office.  Realizing that the power of the White House may be their last chance to accomplish their most selfish desires, the two come up with a "Fuck It" list of things that they would like to do to "fuck over" their friends, family, critics, and the White House's incoming occupant.   The "Fuck It" list includes playing chicken with the entire US economy, throwing thousands more soldiers to needless deaths, and ultimately pushing "that big red button on the end of my desk that I'm never supposed to push".

YES! Finally! This is something that I argued for three years ago on DKos in the only diary that I've ever written that was rerun on the front page. As many quibbles as I've had with Pelosi and Reid, I've got to applaud them and whatever Democratic leadership that finally decided to do this yesterday. OUR State of the union was presented to the National Press Club yesterday, in case you missed it. If we had started three years ago, perhaps we would have had much more coverage than this snippy little AP article, and it would be accepted and anticipated of us... Mr. 29% might have been Mr. 19% by now.

Snakes on a Campaign plot summary:
A band of Democratic presidential candidates bear witness to the brutal murder of the United States Constitution by the powerful Republican BushCo corporation and set out to testify in the court of public opinion.

(LARGER IMAGES ARE AVAILABLE HERE)

Thousands of jubilant Americans clamber over the partially destroyed border wall near Juárez, Mexico


Juárez, Mexico (Rotters) - In a highly coordinated nighttime assault, hundreds of miles of border fencing and walls between Mexico and the states of Texas, Arizona, and New Mexico were destroyed and hundreds of thousands of Americans streamed across into the bordering Mexican cities. All through the night people were seen bringing back across alcohol, food, tires, gasoline, natural gas, and heating oil among other merchandise. The Mexican border patrol initially attempted to stem the flow, but eventually most Americans were greeted in English and told to purchase what they needed and return back to America as soon as possible.